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[unapparent]

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@hightower

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[nishtha]

Never.

Even as I try to respect his distance, I feel it with every fibre of my being. I don't know if I will ever earn his forgiveness, but perhaps being trapped here together will give us a chance to find in each other what we used to have. So I hope.

[unapparent]

Such things are less about forgiveness than tolerance.

Know that I do not exaggerate or seek to placate you when I say this: I have acted as cruelly as you have, to be sure, and harmed those I love in ways that can never be healed.

And yet, the one I have hurt the most cannot turn from me.

[ a gift, but then — she thinks that she and rhaenyra are both crueller than louis. ]

[nishtha]

Cannot? Or will not?

[unapparent]

Cannot.

[ because if she could, she would. how difficult it is, to shed the bonds forged in childhood. ]

[nishtha]

Then we two are once again on common ground. Rare creatures, pursued by those who should turn from us. Is it desperation, the act of a drowning man, that keeps me clutching at Louis, and he clutching at me in turn? Or love enduring? Is this what we deserve?

[unapparent]

I do not think we are ever given what we deserve, else children would not suffer so.

[ children like themselves, so long ago. ]

But we can worsen our fates, with the cruelty of our actions.

[nishtha]

Then let us hope we are able to show mercy.

[unapparent]

Have you ever been merciful, Armand?

[nishtha]

Once. I do not regret it.

[unapparent]

Then hold to that feeling. It is a worthy one.