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I'm sorry.

[ about baela. being unable to protect her. ]

Don't ally yourself with me if they point at me again. Better to keep your head down and protect you and yours. If I get sent off - take care of Koby. The others of mine gonna be alright.

[ there's a beat. ]

Abigail was one of mine.

[ a daughter. ]

Oh, Louis. I’m so sorry.

[ she almost breaks, at the request to care for koby. she held him in the library mere days ago, she came to alina this morning, she comforts tim and aemond now — how can this go on? they lose more and more each week. ]

Mine will not turn on you and yours, even if you are chosen.

[ they won’t defend him, but they won’t vote for him either. alia, alina and paul had been painful enough. she cannot lose louis and daniel, too. ]

Edited 2024-10-13 19:47 (UTC)

You don't owe me an apology. I know you understand.

I couldn't protect Baela. Couldn't protect Abigail.

Don't know I can promise anything anymore, but I'm sorry for your losses all the same. You don't deserve this - no one does - but especially you.

Felt them last night. Pretty sure I felt her. Spent all night feeling for her mind - couldn't. Can barely open my eyes for the way my head hurts.

[ and her name will be on his lips for a long time - abigail, abigail, abigail, claudia, claudia, claudia... ]

None of us can promise anything now. We are not ourselves, not in mind or body, feeling or capacity.

[ with abilities like louis’ and homelander’s weakened or gone. alia, drowning a boy in her holy water. ]

You cannot blame yourself. You can only seek justice. If we catch yet more wolves, we can save more innocents.

Not everyone seems to think that way. Seems to be so charitable.

[ but it doesn't matter anymore. his heart bursts with grief, pain, rage. oh, the rage - something he hasn't felt in such a long, long time. ]

There's no justice for monsters - but they wanna lock me up so bad then let them. If it's me then people will be saved. If it's not, then one less of us working to stop all this. Lose-lose.

Louis.

[ she doesn’t know of any plan to name him again, though it wouldn’t surprise her. alicent has intentionally focused her attention on other leads, when the one who took rhaenyra and attacked alina remains. a man with a mask of pink, red, or orange. ]

What do you believe? Tell me true. I will not begrudge you for any you name.

[ even yourself. ]

I don't know. Just got me worried about me and mine from this last round.

[ the vampires cycled through, and now this. and maybe the lack of bite will absolve them, but all the same. ]

The way it's sounding, could be any of us. Nothing we can do but keep pointing fingers and whittling it down. It ain't right they're doing this to us.

Edited 2024-10-14 12:07 (UTC)

It is neither right nor fair. We’ve been made to turn on each other, in the hopes of weakening us.

[ and it’s working. ]

Do you know of anyone with the abilities Edwin described? A shapeshifter? It seems so unlike anything I have ever known.

We're weak enough already. They knew we'd turn, and I've done my best to keep an eye out for mine.

I haven't been honest with you, the others. Maybe a little selfish, but I wanted to try and stay out of this to protect mine, Koby, Abigail. But with Abigail gone, I can't sit by.

I had a dream. Don't dream much - not sure that vampires can dream much.

[ a dragon dream, she types and deletes. no one else thinks of it that way.

alicent has kept secrets of her own in this game. she would not fault another for it. ]

A dream of the dead?

[ she has only spoken to necromancies thus far, not seers. ]

No. A dream of a killer.

Wasn’t clear - had a headache bigger than I ever experienced before.

Don’t wanna cause panic, but I saw Danny. Saw his face, smiling at me. Like he didn’t do anything wrong.

The one who Ash named as Embry’s killer.

[ she thought she had no more tears left to shed and still more come. ]

Embry was dear to me, Louis.
Do you think this Danny capable of such violence? Of defacing the chapel, as Embry’s killer did?

I’m sorry. I do. I’ve seen inside his mind. His thoughts are dark, like static on a radio. It’s how he was built.

Had an idea about him for a while but this dream - near split my head open. And with Abs gone…

I can’t let it sit. Can’t let us lose anymore family. It’s enough.

[ she wonders, briefly, if the same could be said of her sons. ]

And so we have one name, when we need two more.
I’m with you, Louis.

There is another I believe who has come to us in a dream. Someone gave Daemon the name David Collins. I know him not, but I know Daemon as well as if he were mine own wretched brother, for all my husband loved and resented him — he is a Targaryen, forged in blood and fire. He trusts dragon dreams above all. If he has not seen it, someone else has and informed him thusly.

One is better than the question marks we had last time.

Don't know this David guy, though. New around here? I can ask around, but right now I don't know if anyone will be interested in what I have to say.

And if you trust that guy, despite everything you've told me? Then I'll stand with you if the information comes out.

Thank you, Louis. Know that I trust you in this as well.

Let us see where the votes land, we may yet be able to catch two wolves and keep you from the dungeon.

Lestat, Lexi and Daniil would vote to save you, would they not?

I don't know anymore. Better they vote to keep themselves safe and no worry about me.

Been locked up in worse places before, and if this is all gonna be over soon maybe it won't even be that long.

I’m sorry, Louis. I wish I had the power to protect you from this.

[ that she were still a queen and not a useless girl, watching her loved ones fall and alliances, crumble. ]

It's out of our control. Has been since we arrived at this place.

Whatever happens, you keep your head down. Stay safe.

A queen does not bow.

[ re: keeping her head down. that ship sailed when two targaryens were targeted in the first round. ]

Forgive me if I am too bold, but I must ask.
Why has Armand voted for you?

[ there's hesitation, a beat, then: ]

To protect me from myself, I'm sure. Not the first time.

[ but how to do you even try to explain any of it? ]

I see.
We are alike in this way as well, Louis.

[ set aside out of love, exclusion born of a desire to protect her from darkling schemes and their consequences. ]

Edited 2024-10-19 15:34 (UTC)

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