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[ how can she trust one who debased her in a public forum?

yet if there’s a chance — ]

What do you ask of me then, witch? I would have your price plain.

Cast your vote for Alia, if you want to blame her. I won't stop you, and I'm done trying to convince you.

( to make that plain, first, on her own suspicion that alicent expects this to be a sway of her vote. a test of her allegiances. )

Don't mistake me as doing this for you.
I'm doing it for Alia, and because Aemond was kinder to me with his suspicions than you cared to be.
I knew Jace. I know the grudges your family bears. Aemond spoke of it well enough.

If it comes to light that Alia did do this, they'll want her head to pay their debt.
You will tell them that debt was repaid with the return of their son.
And if they demand more from her, you will defend her against them. You will owe me her protection.

Alia is not the only one who may have invited a wolf to our door. You helped. Now you'll both clean the mess you made.

[ alicent mulls over this message for some time. ]

I know you will never believe it true, but I do not wish it to be Alia, and I did not name her lightly. She is like my daughter in more ways than you can know.

This scenario presumes much, in light of that.

What if she kills another? What if she takes the Prince Jacaerys to a watery grave again? Will you bring him back each time, more broken than the last?

Edited 2024-10-07 18:53 (UTC)

You're wrong. I believe it was hard for you.

But I just don't believe for a single moment you regret any of it.
I don't believe you're sorry to have chosen to find your family's murderer over mine.
I've seen clearly where your loyalty lies, and now you've seen mine.

( the second comes slower. selfish, she expects alicent will say. blinded by love, but it's no less true. )

You have to know Alia isn't a monster, much as Baela tried to make her sound.
She wouldn't kill anyone undeserving, unless the manor has gotten into her head.
I've seen how afraid she is of herself, of the birthright she has.

And you heard what Louis had to say. His power hasn't felt the same since this began.
Matt suspects this place is messing with us all deliberately.

Lock her in the dungeon until this is all finished. She'll be under watch. No one will let her out of sight.
If she escapes, I'll pay the debt for it. They can have my head in her place.

Edited 2024-10-07 19:07 (UTC)

How can I regret anything when I have no will or mind of my own? When I am a girlish puppet for men to command?

That is what you named me before the eyes of gods and men. A pawn. And yet now you ask me to exert the influence of a queen.

[ have you always believed it to be true? a childish question that she wants answered all the same. did you pity me? for the sadness in her eyes and bend of her shoulders. weak-willed. ill-suited to rule. a girl in her mother’s dress, sent to comfort a king and mind his sons. did you wish to use me, too? ]

Neither of you are monsters. The House seeks to divide us, and it has succeeded.

I will do this out of the love I have for you, Alia and Paul. You gave me something at the forest’s edge that no one has ever before extended to me. I’ll not forget it, even if you did not intend it thusly.

[ that is to say, if it was a plot to soften her, it has succeeded. ]

If you return Jacaerys to his family, you trade on a coin even my husband’s bloodline could not rebuke. You will have the protection of me and mine, and my voice to stay the vengeful fires of House Targaryen.

[ she wants to ask for rhaenyra instead, every thought curled around fading image of her.

but rhaenyra would want her son returned first. ]

You voted to send Alia, one of the only allies I have here, away. You plotted to vote for her behind my back.
You sat by and let your family tell me I was playing at victimhood, as if someone didn't try to bleed me dry.

You chose to gather evidence on Jace's killer, while the same man who hurt me — the very same man who might've hurt his mother, too — is still out there.

I have eyes on me because of your accusations. I've no one but Paul to protect me, because of your accusations.
If he comes for me again, even if I see his face, no one will believe me. Because you made me out to look the fool.

And you're concerned with your pride, and the humiliation you were dealt. Tell me if that sounds fair to you.

( who's so selfish now, she could ask. kindling to gunpowder, destroying the uneasy truce alicent has made. )

I meant it.
I wish I didn't, or the betrayal would hurt less.

( aemond had named it hurt. alina wonders, still, if it isn't one and the same. )

Thank you, Alicent. Really.
Please don't tell anyone else the house gave me a role in all of this.
I don't think I have to warn you it puts a bigger target on my head.

Not just from the wolves, either.
Everyone has someone they care about, here. They might not be so happy to see me save one life and not another.

I will tell no one of this. You have my word, if it means anything to you still.

Do not forget every accusation you have made against me this day, and what danger that will cause me in turn.

I cannot be everywhere at once or solve all. I have sought yours and Rhaenyra’s attackers since that vile morning, for your sake and hers. I will continue to do so, until the wolves are brought to justice and the innocent protected.

[ i loved her above all, she could confess, but it would only be another arrow in alina’s quiver, unerring in its search for her vulnerable flesh. ]

I know it is not part of our bargain, but I will defend you and Paul both, should you be accused. I have not suspected either of you, and now I know something else to be true: One cannot hold two roles at once.

[ a card for alina to play, if it comes down to it. ]

( alina sobers, if only because there's a grotesque truth in the accusation — an ugly part of her that had sought to cut alicent off at the knees, viciously, in turn. )

Aemond offered me his life in recompense, Alicent.
I refused it. I'd like to think that means something.

( not that it means much she had demanded him to find justice for her, instead, like a soldier shipped off to the frontlines, she supposes. still: )

I'll defend you and Aemond the same, if it comes to that.
I can't promise Paul will do the same. And I won't ask him to forgive you.

[ her sweet, foolish boy. ]

It does.
His death will come before mine own, but I hope not like this. Thank you for gifting me that time.

[ slipping through her fingers like sand. ]

I would not dare ask anything of Paul after this day.
Keep safe, Alina.

( a morbid prophecy she has no right to pry into. it sticks in alina's brain in all the same, an irremovable burr. )

I can't promise him more time if you leave him alone in a room with Paul.

( one of them has to think strategically, all the same. let it be alina that carries alia and paul's burdens. )

Keep each other close.
Whatever you might think of me, I don't want to find your body next.

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